Jump rope nightmares…

I’ve begun imagining my life as a personal trainer. That’s a good thing as my six month training program will begin in 3 1/2 weeks. I start by thinking – how can I make sure I don’t embarrass myself on the very first day of class?! Sometimes I fixate on the three things we are required to purchase – body calipers (never to be used on myself I say to myself reassuringly), a stop watch (ok, that item doesn’t seem so bad), and a jump rope. For some reason, thinking about that jump rope scares me half to death. What horrible number of repetitions will I be asked to do? Can I even jump rope? I was a really good jacks player back in the day but was I able to jump rope?…I honestly can’t remember! So I do the only sane thing that someone alive in 2016 does – I do a Google search on “exercises with a jump rope” and follow links to a really good YouTube video. It turns out that I already own a jump rope though for the life of me I have no recollection of how that came to be in my house. Pumped by the clarity of the “how to” video, I’m determined to give it a try. Unfortunately I discover that the jump rope I have is way too long for me and then spend a good half hour trying to figure out how to shorten it. I don’t succeed. I’m still having nightmares.

You know the saying “fake it until you make it”? So I’m thinking I need to pretend I’m living as if I were a real trainer even though I am most definitely not. For example, I’ve been working out for two years and three months. (Do you think it is weird that I know this exactly?) Never once during all that time did I utilize my front steps for anything other than what normal people use steps for. Last weekend, though, it struck me totally out of the blue that I can run up and down them like I do in boot camp. (Truly, it never once crossed my mind to do that prior to that moment!) So I do – ten times. I am pretty proud of myself. That’s something a real trainer would do, right?

Last Sunday, still elated that I no longer work on Sunday mornings, I decide to get some exercise since I’m sure that is what real trainers would do with their Sunday mornings. But I absolutely do not want to go to the gym; nor do I want to jog. So I head over to the Beltline – one of my favorite places in Atlanta – and decide to go for a really long walk. And I do. I walk for 2 hours and 10 minutes. I’m not totally sure that counts as a “real trainer” activity but I love to walk and it feels great.

P.S. If you see me driving out-of-town on June 28, my first day of school, you have my permission to drag me from my car and make me go to class. Really, how badly can I possibly embarrass myself, right?