We all have things about ourselves that we’d like to change. It would be nice if we could simply make a laundry list of the offending characteristics and methodically go after each one. Like we were in control. Hah!
Don’t get me wrong. I think there is a lot we can do deliberately and consciously to better ourselves. But, unfortunately, I think opportunities for real shifts in behavior and how we view ourselves and even the world come upon us unexpectedly. Like an unwelcome guest. Suddenly we find ourselves incredibly uncomfortable or hurt, in a situation we wouldn’t have chosen if given the choice. But here we are nonetheless. What to do then?
We can retreat and sometimes that is a perfectly good beginning. Change is hard work and we probably need to fortify ourselves for the battle. But then we have a choice..whether or not to hold the mirror up to our imperfections and face them. To muster the courage to move out of our comfort zone; to allow for the possibility that how we’ve been is ultimately not in our best interest; to begin a journey to something new. To force ourselves to be brave and honest and, most of all, vulnerable. I’ve come to learn that you just can’t get to someplace new without going through this minefield.
When I’m not my best self, I immediately jump to the conclusion that the people I care about will stop caring about me. Like every moment is pass fail and failing is absolute and for all eternity. I’m truly stunned when these people are still there by my side; in fact, they probably weren’t even aware of my internal drama at all. They were clueless that I had flunked some kind of cosmic test put there by myself. Exhausting!
Another Sunday morning and once again I went to the Beltline early to avoid the midday heat. There was a race going on when I first arrived but it wasn’t too long before the participants had passed and the path regained its usual rhythm. There is artwork scattered along the route and I took this photo:
It seemed the perfect message.
P.S. My first blog photo!